The Whetten and Cameron (2011) text
quoted the ancient dictum “Know thyself” as an introduction to the importance
of self-awareness. I found this to be quite amusing. First, because I find
myself to have an indubitably hyperaware sense of self; but also because in the
pursuit of self-examination I once learned that my surname’s coat of arms/motto
would read “Know thyself and learn to suffer”.
It’s not wrong and the reality is it is a blessing and a curse. I am harder on myself than anyone else
possibly could be when self-improvement is needed. Conversely I generally do
not treat others the same way. At the
end of the day sometimes one must acknowledge personal shortcomings and the
times when improvement may not be possible. In this case I am referring to my
horrible inability to open doors with keys. I would be a miserable burglar.
It is no wonder I scored in the
top quartile in the Personal Assessment of Management Skills (PAMS) diagnostic
survey. There would be certain sets of questions that would excited me because
I felt I excelled in that area and then as the set of questions continued I
would groan knowingly that I could be doing something better. “There is little question that the knowledge
we possess about ourselves, which makes up our self-concept, is central to
improving our management skills. We
cannot improve ourselves or develop new capabilities unless and until we know
what level of capability we currently possess” (Whetten & Cameron, 2011, p.
58).
I expected that I would do well
with aspects of membership, developing self-awareness, and leading positive
change. After all, my blog name gives a nod to “cheerleadership”. An interesting tidbit that has been reaffirmed
is that I do not seek control, though sometimes it should not be considered a
bad thing. My Myers-Briggs personality typing is INFJ. I found a quote that
read: There are many reasons INFJ should be in power, except for one: they do
not want it. This is not a bad thing especially as empowering others and
self-managing teams are becoming more prevalent within organizations. The true
surprise came from an unexpected place, my scoring. It appears I am not apt to
strongly agree with many things, though I am generally on board with agreeing
and disagreeing. My scores in effective negative feedback, gaining power, and
managing conflict were on the lower end. Again, this was not new information.
It is my discomfort that I may make an absolute blunder and hurt someone that
holds me back in these areas.
At one point of my career I was a
paralegal, flash forward to present day and I am an academic advisor. It was a
difficult transition to make because I was blunt to a fault and in my training
this was made abundantly clear. I nicknamed myself the sour patch advisor after
the Sour Patch Kids commercials. At first I am sour and then I am sweet.
Customer service is one of our main objectives in my department and I have
become amenable to this mission, especially because I like doing it and it fits
who I am. It is problematic though when I need to have difficult conversations
and give constructive feedback.
Deep down I imagine that others
do not have the same self-awareness that I do and that they will not be
accepting of the information. This is also colored by experience to some
degree. I have had to tell students that they are on academic warning, that
they were dropped from the term due to non-payment, or even worse that they
have been dismissed from the university. I never want to be the bad part of
someone else’s day, but what it comes down to is that the situation occurred
and I am not helping correct the problem without being honest with my
advisement. While I am not technically a manager or a director, as an academic
advisor I could be considered the manager of my student population of four
hundred seventy five students and counting (when I help with coverage I inherit
another hundred or so).
Regardless of my level of comfort
or preference, it is paramount that I learn to embrace difficult conversations.
For others to improve there is a need to become informed. Considering the Johari
Window model, the blind areas, or those known to others and not known to self
cannot be discovered without sharing. Zenger & Folkman (2015) concluded
that “the ability to give corrective feedback constructively is one of the
critical keys to leadership, an essential skill to boost your team’s
performance that could set you apart” (para. 11). Respondents in their survey
divulged that they understood the benefits of negative feedback and that it
could improve their performance, though it was a matter of being delivered
appropriately. Perhaps to become well versed in my delivery I could use some
coaching to improve my abilities.
Personally I value feedback as a
method of reality testing my beliefs about myself. While I do not love hearing
things that I do not do well it confirms the need to strengthen myself in those
areas and learning new information allows me something to ponder and explore.
It is the unsolicited positive feedback that catches me off-guard. In my office
“unicorn” is a frequent word to describe me. At first I thought this began
because people assumed I loved unicorns. While I think they are pretty magical,
it has never been my thing that I have a diehard fandom. I have embraced this
idea and now I think it is pretty special. There are far worse things to be
associated with and it turns out this can be utilized for positive initiatives.
Self-awareness of one’s abilities
is like a soup of things you do well and like and the antitheses of areas you
do not prefer and those which need improvement.
To make use of this knowledge, I will continue to apply what I know and
keep seeking further self-awareness in pursuit of making my interactions more
insightful and effective (Whetten & Cameron, 2011).
References:
Whetten, D.A., & Cameron,
K.S. (2011). Developing management skills
(8th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall
Zenger, J., & Folkman, J.
(2014, January 15). Your Employees Want the Negative Feedback You Hate to Give.
Retrieved August 12, 2015, from https://hbr.org/2014/01/your-employees-want-the-negative-feedback-you-hate-to-give/
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